Of Grudges and Goals

Some people are forgiving while others are not. Some hold grudges, and a few carry their resentment long after the injury – real or imagined – had healed.

I believe all of us are emotionally motivated beings, and that includes those who consider themselves as rational and logical people, who place their heads well above their hearts, who make systematic and well-thought decisions, who think before they act.

The difference between ‘thinkers’ and ‘feelers’ is how they go about in trying to achieve their goals. But they are the same when it comes to the goal itself, because goals are ultimately dictated by the heart.

Take two guys, for example: one impulsive and spontaneous; the other cold and calculating. Both fall deeply in love with the same girl. The first guy freely expresses his feelings and the girl grows defensive and distant; the other works a subtle seduction and stirs interest, intrigue, and eventually desire. The probability is that the second guy will win.

Now some might argue that he is not deserving because his feelings are not strong enough considering he was still able to come up with a strategic plan, whereas his rival was overflowing with so much desire he could not contain it. And yet it is precisely the person’s control that proves one’s sincerity. Speaking out what one feels is easy and even quite relieving, but it takes a lot of work and self-denial to keep holding back until the right moment just to get the girl. And when one refuses to give in to his natural tendencies for the good of some future goal, it means the goal matters more than the immediate release. Just because the method of courtship is systematic and deliberate doesn’t mean the affection is planned as well.

Now as for grudges and vengeance, if we take these same two hypothetical guys, it would probably go like this: when offended or hurt, the emotional guy impetuously attempts immediate revenge – while the other waits for the perfect timing. The first guy’s reaction is often ineffective and could bring in more trouble, but the calculating guy would most likely be able to exact his cold sweet revenge with impunity.

We are all emotional beings. All of our goals are largely influenced by our hearts’ desires: love, happiness, vengeance. The only difference is that while some people turn the heart loose to go after the thing it wants, often with unsatisfactory or even disastrous results, others put the mind to work – literally as a slave doing the heart’s bidding – to effectively grant the wishes of its master. inner minds


4 Responses to “Of Grudges and Goals”

  1. 1 zaurah patricia
    January 13, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    true indeed 🙂

  2. December 28, 2010 at 1:38 am

    I very much agree, although I wouldn’t dare say that the brain is slave to the mind. I would state it thus: the mind can only work with materials that are readily available in the heart. I would like to think of the mind as the artist, and the emotions and desires of the heart as the art materials. If the heart lacks certain desires, the mind must make do with what the heart has at the moment.

    But the heart can certainly train itself via the supervision of the mind. One can train oneself to be more desirous of somethings and to be allergic of others. The mind might indeed be weak compared to the heart as a knight is weak compared to his horse, but it certainly is the one holding the reins.

  3. 4 Marilyn
    February 15, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    So it took me a sense of what and the who’s and by that came the feeling that my fiance might be joined in a cult. Now how this is actually happening I witnessed first hand and put myself right in the path for them to do what it is they do to people and let me say this wasn’t my ‘first rodeo’ so I was hoping that I’d remember right away rather then have it later recalled when triggers would bring the memories out of my psychi or mind if you will. Now how these people blend in is right along with human trafficking prostition with females. I did think that two males did get the same done to them as myself, but have no physical proof and I have not really seen all but one of the two since this has ended. And I mean me leaving this house and it’s neighborhood. I am concerned and have been, unfortunately I without knowing last names can’t look on social media to find out. It has been a long road that is going somewhere real slow it seems. Should I just keep the faith inside myself and the belief that it will soon end in long awaited Justice for the right ones and liberation for the wronged ones of us? I have not went to the authorities as I won’t and I can’t even fathem the idea that Justice will be had soon enough before inicent people fall prey once again to these people. Yes the whole house is involved and seriously I question if that’s all that belong to this horrible place and happenings that I would believe are put on the underground market. And dignity has no price tag. That’s my story in a nutshell. Any advice? I really think I was thorough with my personal investigation. And believe me I paid a small price as long as I help who I wanted to because someone has to end this! I wish I had that power to stop it all immediately to save the step children I want to take under my wing and be a better mother they so deserve. Their father and my relationship is at a stand still and he has no idea what I went through or even that this is something I would do for my own children if their very beings and spirits needed to be saved. Thank you

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Attempts at uncovering the underlying simplicity beneath apparently complex concepts as well as the core complexity within seemingly straightforward issues


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