Due Influence

Whether we love them or hate them, we cannot deny their influence on the choices we make and even on what we become. Especially if we hate them. We may think it is our own choice to not follow their footsteps and to avoid repeating their mistakes, but it is exactly because of what we see in our fathers that we made this “choice.”

I’ve read a long time ago that our parents are our first true love, and we often unconsciously seek in a mate the qualities of our own mothers or fathers. This is true even with some girls who hate their womanizing fathers but still end up falling for womanizing boyfriends. Moreover, we tend to be forgiving of those not-so-nice qualities of our partners if our mothers or fathers also have them.

We may not all be lucky to have wonderful fathers and undoubtedly there are a few who even wish they never had one, but it can never be said too often that they played a key role in bringing us into this world. So unless a man also hates his very own existence, he can never totally hate his father. And sometimes he might even get to see his father as a real human being, complete with weaknesses and bad choices, instead of an invincible super hero.

I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.  Although there are certain things I hate about my father, there is no question on how much I love him and how grateful I am for his influence in my life.

I can’t express it better than the following lines from Leader Of The Band:

I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go

I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And Papa, I don’t think I said

“I love you” near enough.

Happy Father’s Day!

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Attempts at uncovering the underlying simplicity beneath apparently complex concepts as well as the core complexity within seemingly straightforward issues


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