14
Jun
09

4am

(First published in January 2007)

It’s four in the morning. When I sleep early at night I usually end up waking at dawn and unable to get back to sleep until morning. This is why I try to stay up until 11 pm at the earliest. But last night I didn’t, hitting the sheets as early as nine, and this is what I get. And this is what you get – a rambling blog from a rambling dazed guy fresh out of dreamland.

Cold water tastes great at this hour. Well maybe that’s because I had some beer yesterday afternoon, and they say that alcohol causes dehydration. Water’s really good now. Ahhh.

Had a great weekend. Well maybe a little too much fun for my own good, but it was really good. It’s not everyday that you get to connect to another human being at a very genuine level.

Recently I’ve begun to notice more and more that people tend to do things in pursuit of happiness, silently working for their dreams. Before, I used to think that people are lazy and would just settle for whatever is fun and convenient at the moment. I used to believe that people are self-destructive by nature, and that it takes a lot of work and courage to be otherwise. Now I believe differently. Yes, people are self-destructive sometimes, but now I’m beginning to believe that this is not innate in their nature, but rather a result of disappointment.

Junkies never really quit; they just find another high: love, sex, the adrenaline rush in sports, deep satisfaction from work, a new addictive hobby. But if these things no longer give satisfaction, they become junkies again.

I believe we’re all junkies, though we don’t all use drugs. We are addicted to certain things – love is perhaps the most common – and we suffer withdrawal symptoms when they are taken from us. And so we either try desperately to regain that love, or we become obsessed with other things just to survive the depression. Typical junkie.

It’s 5 am now, and I’m beginning to feel that sleep is calling me. Tomorrow is another day. innerminds inner minds

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Attempts at uncovering the underlying simplicity beneath apparently complex concepts as well as the core complexity within seemingly straightforward issues

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